2010–2014
Send me your pin
The entire opening move.
Eight characters decided whether the conversation happened. Asking was forward; refusing was a statement. Nobody said 'add me on BBM' — the PIN was the ask.
The Lexicon
The words the interfaces produced. Most of them describe a constraint — cost, battery, bandwidth — that no longer exists.
← The SheetNone of these were invented by a platform. They were invented by people working around one: around per-second billing, around a screen that fitted eleven words, around a connection that only made sense after midnight.
2001–2012
Flash me
Ring once, hang up, make me call you.
A whole protocol built on the fact that calls cost and missed calls did not. One flash: call me. Two: I have arrived. Three: where are you.
2008–
MB don finish
The data is gone.
Said with the resignation of a fact of nature. Usually mid-sentence, and always right before the interesting part.
always
Abeg
Please — but also: come on.
Load-bearing. Softens a request, sharpens a dismissal, opens a plea. Its meaning was entirely in where it sat in the sentence.
2001–2015
Recharge card
A scratch panel and sixteen digits.
Sold from a table, a wheelbarrow, a shop, a person. Scratched with a coin or a fingernail. The last two digits were always the ones that rubbed off.
2004–2014
Night browsing
Internet, but only after midnight.
Cybercafés sold the graveyard shift cheap and networks priced data by the hour. An entire generation's downloads happened between 12am and 5am.
2007–
K
Message received. Conversation over.
One character. Devastating. The only reply that cost you nothing and cost the other person everything.
2010–2015
Broadcast
One message, every contact, no context.
Chain prayers, false MTN promotions, warnings about hypnotists, and — occasionally, unforgivably — something aimed at exactly one person.
2001–2012
ASL?
Age, sex, location.
The first three fields of every stranger's form. Imported from IRC, adopted wholesale by Yahoo Messenger and then by every 2go room in the country.
always
Nepa don take light
The power has gone.
Reported in the present perfect because it had already happened by the time you noticed. Ended more downloads than any error message.
2006–
Op na wa o
Original poster, this is something else.
Nairaland's default reaction to a thread that has gone somewhere unexpected. Neither approval nor disapproval — an acknowledgement of scale.
2003–2010
Not enough memory
The download died at the last step.
Appeared after the progress bar had reached the end. Deleting three photos to make room and then having to start the download over.
2006–2015
Anonymous said...
The Nigerian blog comment section.
Blogger's default byline for anyone who could not be bothered to sign in, which was everyone. Hundreds of them per post, arguing with each other under the same name.
2008–2014
Free browsing
A settings page passed hand to hand.
A proxy IP, a blank front query, and a window of a few weeks before the network closed it. Posted on forums, screenshotted, and shared by Bluetooth.